A Troubled and Broken Heart

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The sacrifice of God is a troubled spirit; a troubled and broken heart, O God, you will not despise...

These were the words of Psalm 51 as printed in the Ash Wednesday bulletin at my wife’s congregation. It was a slightly different translation than I’d heard before... perhaps that’s why these words seemed to leap from the page.

A troubled and broken heart, O God, you will not despise...

Like you, I know something about a troubled spirit, a broken heart. That’s true in spite of the fact that I am, by nature, a pretty optimistic soul – at least outwardly. That’s true in spite of the fact that I’ve spend my professional life within the church, where you’d think we’d know how to handle things like trouble and brokenness.

A troubled and broken heart, O God, you will not despise...

The fact is that it is precisely because of my vocation within the church that my spirit is so often troubled, my heart broken. 

When I witness the struggles of congregations “in decline” or work with communities of faith where there is painfully divisive behavior or cruel conflict – my spirit is troubled. 

When I listen to pastors and other leaders who are filled with weariness by their attempts to be all things to all people and feel no sense of appreciation or worth –my heart is broken. 

When I listen to a fellow bishop lament the future of our church – or wonder if there is hope for any church in these increasingly secular times – my soul is distressed.

When I contemplate my own sense of inadequacy for this call, feel the weight of too often failing those I’m asked to serve, my family, or myself – I experience profound unrest in the very depths of my being.

A troubled and broken heart, O God, you will not despise...

How interesting that God actually welcomes our troubled spirits, our broken hearts. What good news it is to realize that it is only when we reach the end of our own resources that God finally has room to get to work in us and through us.  Turns out that a troubled spirit and broken heart are the very raw materials upon which God relies to produce transformation. In Christ, all things are made new: you are made new; I am made new; the church and the world are made new. Through the power of the Spirit, our darkness gives way to divine light; every death becomes the seed of new life.

A troubled and broken heart, O God, you will not despise...

Thanks be to God!
Bishop Jim Gonia

Comments

Unknown said…
Wow! Thanks I needed that today.
Peace,
Alice
9:15 AM
Unknown said…
Don't know why it came up that Clara Jane wrote this...weird! Maybe it was Aunt Clara in Heaven giving you an Amen too!
9:28 AM
Unknown said…
I heard this words anew last night as well.
11:22 AM
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